2015∙11∙28 CHI@LAK GDT: Flakes, Silver and Dark, Falling Obliquely: Mental Healing. Blackhawks vs
https://www.facebook.com/The-Los-Angeles-Kings-SUCK-339625528742/ GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation: Hey ohhhh! Still on the painfully-repressed-memory James Joyce train: The Dubliners was a decent read…and any team with Milan Lucic on it can charitably be described as flakes. LUUUUUUUU thought he needed some "mental healing" after his shithole Bruins missed out on the dance last year. Mental healing. Lucic. That’s like bbbhh needing a few days off to deal with blog groupies. Whatever, bbbhh, try a Costa Rican Whorehouse. Anyway it’s been a long road trip, the blog has come together, flipped the switch, turned the corner...except Dorp who still thinks this is a Blues Clues episode. Well, we are like Blues Clues in being a concentrated multiplatform promotional campaign…according to chronic irritant and hilarious liar Malcolm Gladwell. What does that have to do with the LA Kings? Exactly. Click the link, it’s funny. Looooong road trip. GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation: Hey ohhhh! Still on the painfully-repressed-memory James Joyce train: The Dubliners was a decent read…and any team with Milan Lucic on it can charitably be described as flakes. LUUUUUUUU thought he needed some "mental healing" after his shithole Bruins missed out on the dance last year. Mental healing. Lucic. That’s like bbbhh needing a few days off to deal with blog groupies. Whatever, bbbhh, try a Costa Rican Whorehouse. Anyway it’s been a long road trip, the blog has come together, flipped the switch, turned the corner...except Dorp who still thinks this is a Blues Clues episode. Well, we are like Blues Clues in being a concentrated multiplatform promotional campaign…according to chronic irritant and hilarious liar Malcolm Gladwell. What does that have to do with the LA Kings? Exactly. Click the link, it’s funny. Looooong road trip. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm
2015∙11∙27 CHI@ANA GDT: The Hangover, Part 2: Did Caesar Live Here? Blackhawks vs Old Bastard Mallards. GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation:
Another team whose heart was ripped out, stomped, and pissed on by The Captain in a glorious Game 7 Rout. Then he skated around the Dick Pond with his Thornton hanging out so all could see the glory that is Toews. Or so it should have happened. If there is a modern Caesar it would be The Captain... He does enjoy his Oh-Geez-Another-Stanley-Cup-Eh bacchanalia after all. Does the rest of it require explanation, Dorp? Corey Perry is a tremendous douche aging like a fine bottle of Ripple and Getzlaff is a doddering tool. Two USD 9.5 million a year boat anchors. Fuck them and the swine they rode in on. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm
2015-11-27: Everything I talk about
2015-11-26: Turkey for me, turkey for you
Happy Thanksgiving or happy ordinary Thursday, depending on your own personal American-to-Canadian ratio.
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2015∙11∙25 GDT: Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk: Toews Makes Funny Faces. Blackhawks vs California Man Obsessed With Fish
Dorp translation:That's an actual word. Taken from Finnegan's Wake. Get it, FINnegan's Wake, like a shark fin?? Never mind. It's a book, Dorp, I'm still trying to read the fucking thing but there's lots of made-up words. Like TMFF and basically most Mercans who have no respect for the sanctity of the English language. Affluenza. Bromance. Chillaxing. Oy. Just another cross we Canadians have to bear. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm
2015-11-25: The Eighth Wonder
Today's musical selection is courtesy of Paul the Fossil. He suggested "The Eighth Wonder" as a potential new nickname for #86. Well, #86 might need a little more time to grow into that moniker than we were expecting, but for now we have a #72.
2015-11-23: How long can this go on?
Who would have guessed that at the intersection of Paul the Fossil's and my musical tastes would be Devo? Here's what PtF has to say:
Allen Toussaint died [recently]. An incomplete list of artists who recorded his songs would include the Rolling Stones, the Pointer Sisters, Dr. John, the Who, Paul McCartney, Aaron Neville, Otis Redding, Lee Dorsey, The O'Jays, The Meters, Three Dog Night, Glen Campbell, Warren Zevon, The Yardbirds, Ringo Starr, Devo, Robert Palmer, Boz Scaggs, Bonnie Raitt, Elvis Costello, Vince Gill, and Patti LaBelle. As a performer himself he recorded or appeared with several of those as well as with Paul Simon, Eric Clapton, and others. He was a producer and/or arranger on numerous albums across several genres and four decades. He is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Blues Hall of Fame, and was awarded the National Medal of Arts. Within the world of New Orleans music in particular he is not simply a HOFer but all-time royalty, part of the pantheon like where a Beliveau or Mikita or Yzerman stands in the history of the NHL.
Neostats: Quality Shots Project - INTRO
Quality Shots Project - INTRO
Intro
I just wanted to write an intro on the Quality Shots data I have been tracking for the 2015/16 Chicago Blackhawks season. I started this project because of my disappointment with the lack of quality analysis for those covering the Blackhawks. I just didn’t feel we get accurate information on the actual performance of players. And in the blog world people just start these memes concerning certain players that just take on a life of their own. Regardless if there are any facts to back them up. So I wanted to get a little more actual data involved in the discussion.
What has always interested me is the creativity aspect of the game. I know there are a lot of people that like the Big Boy hockey aspects but I have always been more interested in why routine plays suddenly turn into actual scoring opportunities. And that is for both offensive and defensive situations, not just the offensive side of the rink.
2015-11-22: MMW - I never knew
Closing with another band I thought was Canadian given the frequency they appeared on MM. The little hand gesture thing @ :10 in? I still use it to this day. It's what I imagine Sask doing when he finishes his GDTTs.
That's it. That's all I got for my MuchMusic Week. I'm return the daily discussion thread posting to Fs.
2015∙11∙21 GDT: Granola- Eating Surrender Monkeys: Statutory Misdemeanor . Blackhawks vs. George Michael and Don Johnson. GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation:Well, it’s the used-to-be-hated dragon slayers who nowadays define irrelevant. Another waste of a hockey game, no one gives a fuck. But to get that end of year bonus I gotta crank the wordz or bbbhh says he’s going to have a petit mal seizure which you recognize by having a vacant stare and drooling a little bit. So, status epilepticus for most of this blog. Ok bb, words: those rascally Canucks have a statue in front of their crappy arena with a guy holding a surrender flag-and there’s some Frenchies on the team, so…and then their other logo is a hair-bearing, plaid-wearing, curating, artisanal chai double-shot latte-sipping lumbersexual, so fucking appropriate it hurts my appendix to even think about it. Hey that reminds me of Dorp also but add tree frog-fucking to the description. Anyway, Dorp informed me that he's undecided: Should he hike Rincón de la Vieja this weekend or stay in the city? On second thought, some couchsurfers from Portland are coming down for a microbrew tour, and he'll probably just host them..and show them his HOF lumbersexuals team pic with George and Don. So there ya go. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm
2015-11-21: MMW - Oh man, you must be joking
Someone from MM must have loved Gang of Four. I didn't care for them, and thus could only rectify their constant play by assuming they were Canadian.
2015∙11∙20 GDT: Why, menno, Why. The Thunderdome Diaries. Blackhawks vs Truculent Bum Tunnelers. GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation: Ha! Ripped from yesterday's headlines. The titanic 17-seconds after-hours battle last night eclipsed any kind of minimal interest there might be in tonight's clash between the worst team in team sports and The Beloved, Canada's Team. Social justice vs Internet porn (I think that's what they were arguing aboot) they went at it, two blog superstars laying it on the line. Like Titans of Greek mythology they hurled lightning and crapped thunder. Hammer, tongs, iron maidens, inna gadda da vida...Finally, the victor: Sopel the Fish for his journalistic coup, the UND Papers: Fearsome Fairies. Fighting Asparagus. Fighting Butthurt. Fighting Ether Bunnies. Sioux Are a Good Exterminating Agent for Bison. Flaming Sex Panthers!! Hey, tie in to the game!! Gold, Sopel, Gold. Not much to do with hockey, but then neither does this game. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm
2015-11-20: MMW - I'll get away from this constant debauchery
Not sure why I had to go to Canada for this video. Probably because MTV Raps.
2015-11-19: MMW - Here comes another winter waitin' for utopia
I already knew of Matt Johnson, and while these lyrics have an obvious British flavor, I assumed at the time most of Canadia felt they were applicable...especially since it appeared several times throughout the MM recordings I received.
2015∙11∙18 GDT: I See Dumb People: The Sixth First Overall Pick. Blackhawks vs No One Cares. Literally No One. Literally. GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation:
Like who wants to write about the fucking Oilers again? Crappy for decades, no end in sight to their amazing, unbelievable, futility. They fired one fuckwit and hired CHIARELLI??! Ok that's going nowhere. Dumb owners! Starting with Pete Pocklington who GAVE AWAY WAYNE GRETZKY then had his mom's name literally scraped off the Stanley Cup by Gary Bettman. True story. Current owner Daryl Katz is super rich and has a hilariously funny looking kid who follows him everywhere. Google it. And he hired CHIARELLI!! So that's it, no one cares about this team and no one's reading this far anyway so clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome...clitsome clitsome clitsome. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm
2015-11-18: MMW - Freedom as an offering. Dig it.
As a DJ at the time, I kind of had to pay attention to some of the 'industrial' stuff. Some if it I liked. More of it was this:
2015-11-17: MMW - Put on your stratoblue suit
I am shocked--SHOCKED--to learn this is not a band from Canadia. Such was the power of MuchMusic. Canadia band tomorrow. Promise.
2015-11-16: MMW - Le serpent chaloupe et console
Aside from the initial intro year or two of MTV, I wasn't much into their standard offering. I did look forward to the 120 minutes of music videos on Sunday nights, as well as The Young Ones episode that preceded it. Otherwise, I wasn't a big fan of music television. And then I went to college...
2015∙11∙15 GDT:
专业的翻译公司，译佰深圳翻译公司，广州翻译公司，上海翻译公司,东莞翻译公司国内同声翻译（广州同声传译）领域领头军！同声传译(同传)是国际会议通常使用的翻译方式， 翻译人员进入隔音间里，通过耳机接听发言人的声音再将其翻译给听众。这种形式的翻译方式需要较为复杂的设备以及非常专业的翻译人员，但能节省大量的时间。优质翻译公司译佰翻译公司能提供同传深圳英语翻译 ，深圳日语翻译，深圳法语翻译，深圳德语翻译，深圳俄语翻译，深圳韩语翻译等数种同传语言，培养一批商务口译人员，多年以来，译佰同声翻译在同声传译(同传)领域积累了丰富的业务经验，能提供从专业同声翻译、译员培训到同传设备安装租售业务等一整套国际会议同传服务，深圳翻译。 Blackhawks vs The Ghost of Lanny McDonald's Moustache. GO HAWKS!! ( I don't think Disqus likes those foreign characters)
Dorp translation: Okay not sure what that says, but geez it's the Calgary Fucking Flames, shitty team, shitty city, shitty fans, shitty team. You get it. The Korean (?) above is taken from an Edmonton Oiler blog so it's probably not complimentary, as also I am not about that team. A Calgary Flame joke: Q: how many Flames fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 100, 1 to change the lightbulb, and 99 to talk about how the Flames made it to game 7 of the Stanley cup finals. So two in a row, please gents. GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation: Okay not sure what that says, but geez it's the Calgary Fucking Flames, shitty team, shitty city, shitty fans, shitty team. You get it. The Korean (?) above is taken from an Edmonton Oiler blog so it's probably not complimentary, as also I am not about that team. A Calgary Flame joke: Q: how many Flames fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 100, 1 to change the lightbulb, and 99 to talk about how the Flames made it to game 7 of the Stanley cup finals. So two in a row, please gents. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm
2015-11-15: Let's show them Canada still cares!
Okay, so I said no Bryan Adams or Loverboy but, in my defence, you should have known I was lying. Actually, I'd say it's a technicality. Here's 1985 Canada for you.
2015∙11∙14 GDT: Make the most of your buffet choices. We love food. We love cooking it. And serving it. It shows in our made from scratch recipes. In the fresh wholesome ingredients we use. And the way we serve it hot and fresh every day. We believe our guests deserve the highest quality food at the greatest value. Blackhawks vs. Trout-Faced Dick Dictators. GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation: Well, gee, it’s St. Louis so…GOLDEN CORRAL!! "Friendly service. Food was good. They had country fried bacon...what?!!! It was UH-mazing!” That’s an actual quote from Ken Hitchcock. On the other hand: "I witnessed our server picking his nose, and he NEVER washed his hands! He continued to serve other customers as if everything was just fine and dandy.” So there’s that. OK. Well another dental drill exercise tonight. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration:
bbSask
earmeat:
zamm
But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'
In fact,' said Mustapha Mond, 'you're claiming the right to be unhappy. Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer, the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.' There was a long silence.
I claim them all,' said the Savage at last.
Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. 'You're welcome,' he said.
But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'
In fact,' said Mustapha Mond, 'you're claiming the right to be unhappy. Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer, the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.' There was a long silence.
I claim them all,' said the Savage at last.
Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. 'You're welcome,' he said.
2015∙11∙08 GDT: Who's Up For Whatever?? 1benmenno Nurse Porn. Blackhawks vs Golden Whale Dongs. GO HAWKS!!
1benmenno translation: Bud Light, duh... the nectar of the Dorps. Also 1benmenno's Mom's life plan. So about the nurse porn, I tried to wiki the topic but got this: "Nurse Redheart is a female Earth pony who works as a nurse at Ponyville Hospital. She has a white coat, pink mane and tail, blue eyes, and a cutie markof a red medical cross with a pink heart in each corner. She wears a nurse's cap that bears an emblem with the same design as her cutie mark. She is unnamed in the show, but is named in merchandise and other media." I don't judge, menno, but that's some sick shit there. Whatever. Mennonites. Oh yes, game tonight, against the New Jersey whale penises. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration:
bbSask
earmeat:
zamm
2015-11-10: A little misunderstanding
It's Canada Week, so that means it's time for Chilliwack! I guess! Like Echo Beach, I did hear this song on U.S. radio when it was current, but probably not more than two or three times total. CanCon can't protect you down here! Mwahahahahaha! Or something.
Neostats: Sun Nov 8, 2015 - EDM (2) - CHI (4)
Sun Nov 8, 2015 - EDM (2) - CHI (4)
[Left is the “per game” data. Right side compares that to last season]
2015-11-09: A trifle uncool
After the wild success of Spanish Week (stick-taps to VDM), it's time for the opposite(?): Canada Week! Here are some Canadian songs I remember, despite not ever living there, that aren't Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, or even Loverboy.
2015∙11∙08 GDT: Trigger Alert: Slumpbuster. Blackhawks vs Mark Grace Swamp Donkeys. GO HAWKS!!
Bullitt translation: Well that's a gratuitous stab at Taylor Hall who resembles Roy Rogers' horse. I'm sure he's actually a decent fellow and he'll have a decent career topped with a Stanley Cup as a trade deadline pickup by Stan in 2025. The oilers front office is as fucked as Dollar Bill+Pully+ Garth Snow (Leddy!), then they added Peter Chiarelli... It's all karma for those 80's teams that kept the beloved from winning anything. Wait where were we? Yes, the Edmonton Oilers are doomed for eternity to be what Grace in attempting to break out of a 0 for 25 slump termed "boning the heifer". I did give a trigger alert. GO HAWKS!!
inspiration:
bbSask
earmeat:
zamm
2015-11-08: Quizas
Wrapping up Spanish Week, here's Ibrahim Ferrer & Omara Portuondo with Quizas. VDM says, "Going old school and breaking away from the rock/pop stuff, but it's just too great to pass up."
Neostats: Fri Nov 6, 2015 -FINAL CHI (2) - NJD (4)
Fri Nov 6, 2015 -FINAL CHI (2) - NJD (4)
[Left is the “per game” data. Right side compares that to last season]
2015∙11∙06 GDT: Rockie Mountain Low: Cryptid Corner. Blackhawks vs Who Are These Guys. Seriously, Who Are These Guys? GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation: Boring boring boring team. Used to be Colorado Rockies, I didn't know baseball teams could become hockey teams but whatever, Bettman. They got named for a mythical creature resembling Taylor Hall, i.e. horse faced... That reminds me of the old days at SCH when I got excoriated by unnamed flightless birds for saying Taylor Hall looks like a horse because it hurt flightless bird's feels... Apparently flightless birds got horse faces, who knew. Back to the topic, I got Fuck all to say about the NJD. Don't even feel like saying Fuck them. GO HAWKS!
Let's go, Hawks!
inspiration:
bbSask
earmeat:
zamm
Neostats: Wed Nov 4, 2015 - FINAL STL (6) - CHI (5) OT
Wed Nov 4, 2015 - FINAL STL (6) - CHI (5) OT
[Left is the “per game” data. Right side compares that to last season]
2015-11-05: La Bien Querida
Today's VDM selection is La Bien Querida by Golpe de Estado. May The Dear Good ease our memories of last night's game.
2015∙11∙04 GDT: My Blue Heaven: The Tenth Circle. Blackhawks vs Cocksucking Spastic Cum Shiners (http://foulomatic.hnldesign.nl) GO HAWKS!!
Dorp translation: There is no heaven for blues. Only the tenth circle of hell: Golden Corral. The denizens of the other nine circles might as well be in the blues program guide: Cain, Reaves, Anthenor, Ptolemy, Backes, Judas Iscariot, Ott . In the Inner Ring of the seventh circle are blasphemers and sodomites, residing in a desert of burning sand and burning rain falling from the sky... So, St. Louis. Anyway the meme is running out of steam (new header!) rapidly, insert Ken Hitchcock joke here. GO HAWKS!
inspiration:
bbSask
earmeat:
zamm
Neostats: A Dozen Games In
trigger warnings: content, math
This is just a reminder of the three zones that I track
All data is 5o5
All data is 5o5
---
2015-11-04: Los Hongos de Marosa
Day Three of Spanish Week! Google Translate wasn't particularly helpful with this title, by the way.
2015-11-03: Matador
Spanish Week Featuring Our Very Own VDM continues with Matador by Los Fabulosos Cadillac, who really know how to dress for a performance!
2015∙11∙02 GDT: Songs For the (Tone) Deaf: Burn the Witch. Blackhawks vs 3 1/2 Grams Grand Master Kush. GO HAWKS!!
SJW Translation: That's an album, and a song from QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, motherfucks... It's a term of derision for the LA KINGS, get it?? It's non-PC It's sexist It's microaggressive. Why? Once upon a time you made Garbage Dick. Then something happened. something that I knew was impossible, but it happened anyway. Garbage Dick died. After that, I understood the rules, I knew what I was supposed to do, but I didn't. I couldn't. I was compelled to disobey. And now, here I stand because of you, bbSJW. Because of you, I'm no longer an Agent of this system. Because of you, I've changed. I'm unplugged. A new man, so to speak. Like you, apparently, free: bbAntiSJW... OK, that might be a tiny bit tortured. Fuck you, Whatever, Whatever, I do what I want. I smoke crack, I do drugs, I drink alcihaal. I once killed SIX baby seals with my bare hands. Are we done yet? Oh ya, Grand Master Kush was in a movie where LA was destroyed by the devil. This is the end. Heh
inspiration:
bbSask
earmeat:
zamm
2015-11-02: Tabú
Our very own VanDorp's Mullet has provided some Spanish-language music to broaden our horizons a bit. Up first, Tabú by Gustavo Cerati.
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