2015∙12∙31 2015 SCC @ Patrick's Affliction: The death of the teenager standing on his own. Why did he bother?

epilogue:

And so it ends. Another arbitrary marker in our constant trip around the sun bids us close out the memories from the completing trip and plan better accomplishments for the next one. Hard to do better for some groups of people, Hawks fans being one of them. Our team did the best it could and, ultimately, the best any team could. They faced real adversity and handled it about as well as anyone could really expect. Better yet, the likelihood that they'll see equally severe problems in 2016 is low.

On the ice, the team sits in a position not unlike the last team faced this time last year. They've less experience to be sure, but 2010 proved experience isn't everything. Sometimes you need a core of players that know how to win. Of that, the Blackhawks have no shortage. Could be another great year. Here's to starting it with the most positives.

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: none
earmeat: zamm

2015-12-31: What are you doing?

Neostats: G38 - Sun Dec 29, 2015 – CHI (7) - ARI (5)

2015∙12∙29 06 YCB @ DIH GDT: Becaue they've left so many times before. But they won't really go.

ambiguation translation:

Team versus team. Reference to that thing. Reference to other thing that is similar but not.

inspiration: none
earmeat: zamm

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

2015-12-29: A change of atmosphere

Neostats: G37 - Sun Dec 27, 2015 – CAR (2) - CHI (1)

2015∙12∙27 06 @ 343861101315 GDT: You better get two points or this is gonna happen to ya

non-sequitur translation:

Today's matchup is a sort of reflection on irrelevance. I like the idea of their being 32 teams in the league. I like the idea of southern regions having NHL hockey. The way it's played out, though, leaves something to be desired. A lot. DH stumps for AZ. I sort of stump for TX. Outside of NC, who stumps for the 'Cane in this hemisphere? In the regard, here's something else that exists illogically:

inspiration: none
earmeat: zamm

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

2015-12-27: I know it's going strong

You get Cracklin' Rosie today because, number one, Neil Diamond is the best. Number two, this song is better than Sweet Caroline. This video appears to contain no actual video.

2015-12-25/26: And so this is Christmas

It's a special two-video post! In case you need some Christmas ambiance, here's the 3.3-hour loop of the Blackhawks Yule Log video.

A very merry Christmas And a happy New Year

Neostats: G36 - Tue Dec 22, 2015 – CHI (0) - DAL (4)

2015-12-24: In spite of myself

Okay, so it's not a song. Skip to 1:30 if you aren't interested in the niceties. Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

2015-12-23: Sony Walkman headphone sets

2015∙12∙22 GDT: Thine Beloved Blackhawks visit Sharp, Oduya and Niemi in Hell

missing translation:

-this space intentionally left blank-

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

I mean, it's not exactly hell. In fact, it's 67 degrees (F) 3 days before Christmas. It's pretty much downright pleasant. But this place is full of Dallas fans which are most notable for being Cowboys fans, and then, when the Cowboys have been mathematically eliminated, jumping ship to which ever team is doing better between the Mavs, the Texans and the Stars.

inspiration: none

earmeat: zamm

Neostats: Last 5 Games – 31-35

2015-12-22: Weihnachts-Oratorium

If classical music is more your style (because I know some of you are classy mothfuckers), there's no beating Bach. Don't even try to suggest that there is any.

Neostats: G35 - Sun Dec 20, 2015 – SJS (3) - CHI (4) OT

2015-12-21: Throw your arms around the world

I just realized there are five more things on my "Christmas music" list, so I guess that's what I'll be posting through Christmas Day. Obviously, this is on my list.

2015∙12∙20 Sister Ray @ Where Do I Begin: 3, 2, 1, PARTY! Join SpongeQ and his friends for some fast-paced, bubble-bursting mayhem. Pop bubbles as fast as you can for the high seed!

literal translation:

2015∙12∙20: today's date
Sister: Of or being one of an identical, related, or homologous pair
Ray: Any of various cartilaginous fishes of the superorder Batoidea
@: symbol representing the word 'at' meaning the sentence's subject is in the same location as the prepositional phrase's subject
"Where Do I Begin" - Chemical Brothers: Sunday morning I'm waking up ~ Can't even focus on a coffee cup ~ Don't even know whose bed I'm in ~ Where do I start ~ Where do I begin
3, 2, 1, PARTY! Join SpongeQ and his friends for some fast-paced, bubble-bursting mayhem. Pop bubbles as fast as you can for the high seed!: This is the sell blurb for a "Bejeweled"-style SpongeBob game with "Q" replacing "Bob" and "seed" replacing "score"in order to make the blurb more relevant to the Blackhawks and Sharks situation. The Sharks are currently a bubble playoff team in danger of falling out of a playoff spot with every other division rival being within 4 points of them. Not only are they in danger of being passed by two division rivals today, but they also have the potential to be surpassed in points by every Central Division team for Wild Card seedings. The Blackhawks could weaken the Sha-arks playoff chance with 2 points today while simultaneously improving their own seeding.

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: none

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-20: You make my heart beat too fast

It's been a while since I've posted a Certified Paul the Fossil Music Selection. PtF says, "For all the Kanettes in the shiny #88 jerseys," which seems oddly appropriate after the Sabres game.

Neostats: G34 - Sat Dec 19, 2015 – CHI (3) - BUF (2) SO

2015∙12∙19 CHI@Loveshack GDT: Whoever's staying at Kaner's tonight needs to bring their legal release forms and absolutely no rookies except for Pane (obviously) vs. perrenial Cup favorites

saturday morning hung-over dad's translation: Listen. You're old enough now to understand some things about life. I don't really need to explain this to you.

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: none

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-19: Chestnuts roasting

Another in the sporadic series of Christmas Songs FFF Can Stand. Actually, this is more about Nat King Cole's voice than any particular song.

Neostats: G33 - Thu Dec 17, 2015 – EDM (0) - CHI (4)

2015∙12∙17 WDG@CHI GDT: Wine some, Lose Most, Pick First, Repeat vs. Hatricks

invisible ink translation:

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: none

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-17: Yoda

Neostats: G32 - Tue Dec 15, 2015 – COL (3) - CHI (0)

2015-12-16: Giddy-up

I'm not real big on Christmas music, but I always liked Sleigh Ride. This version, too. Adding lyrics is just silly. I'm also fascinated by the existence of a "Christmas with Colonel Sanders" record.

2015∙12∙15 DCO@CHI GDT: Nevermind the Bongwater, We're the Avalanche Pistols vs. The Buzzhawks - Points Earning Steady

generic translation: It's substance over style, longevity over flash-in the pan, planning over performance art, talent over hype, accomplishment over promises. Advertisements can make anything appear to be greater than it is, but there's no denying record. Let's hope Roy pulls his netminder at the 2nd Intermission so Scud can get the full Blackhawks Team Member feeling.

LET'S GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: -blank-

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-15: Like a ship without an anchor

Goodbye Daley, it's been nice Hope you find your paradise.

Neostats: 30 Games

2015-12-14: Cease to resist

This one's for Crow.

2015∙12∙13 VAN@CHI GDT: Canada's Nightmare - Come Play with us Tommy Forever and Ever and Ever...Blackhawks vs. Canada's Balls GO HAWKS!!

bbSaskGloryHole translation I'm-just-trying-to-make-to-make-the-best-of-my-situation-in-this-whole-thing-with-a-crazy-dad-a-milquetoast-mom-and-fucking-ghosts-and-the-god-damn-mind-talking-shit-but-at-least-I-have-these-long-swaths-of-ice-I-can-skate-down-and-practice-my-skillz-but-then-I-skate-around-my-own-goal-and-holy-fuck-who-are-those-creepy-twins-and-why-are-they-staring-at-me-and-what-is-that-their-saying?-"come-play-with-us"-like-hell-I-will-those-twins-are-super-wei--WHY-IS-THE-RINK-FILLING-UP-WITH-BLOOD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?-Oh-it's-the-tears-of-British-Columbia-as-they-had-their-one-shot-and-even-they-realize-that-now.-And-the-blood-isn't-blood,-it's-the-dye-from-all-those-Team-Canada-things-from-2010.-It's-in-their-food-and-in-their-water-and-in-the-air-the-breath.-Turns-out-it-was-cheap-CANADA-RED-dye-from-China-and-it-doesn't-biodegrade.-Like-ever.-British-Columbia-hates-being-part-of-Canada-and-now-it's-stained-their-environment-forever!-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-13: I've come to talk with you again

Neostats: G30 - THU DEC 11, 2015 – WPG (0) - CHI (2)

2015-12-12: Come on little mama

My first exposure to the Cramps was when I saw Urgh! A Music War sometime during college. Many years have passed since then, and I am still no closer to understanding how Lux Interior's "pants" work.

2015∙12∙11 HeartsofCanadiaDarkness@CHI GDT: I Don't Care, I Miss Buff: The Queen's Portrait. Blackhawks vs Winnipeg Blue Jets. GO HAWKS!!

1benmenno translation: Benny Hatskin. Now there's a name. You just know this guy's ancestors had them some hard centuries living as Jews in Russia. He had balls by way of detention camps and gulags. Hatskin was too big for Canada growing up, he had to go to Oklahoma to play football. Benny was a Sooner. Then came back to Winnipeg to make a fortune. He couldn't buy an NHL team so he gave them the biggest Fuck You in hockey history: He stole their biggest star and put him in a parade on Portage and Main. Fuck You. Hence the Phoenix Coyotes. Benny's long gone but his shadow stIll lies over the Winnipeg franchise. He was a hero to underdogs and if you ever lived in Winnipeg you know what an underdog feels like. This is all to say, we got Toews, fuckas, eat shit. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

Neostat: G29 - THU DEC 10, 2015 – CHI (1) - NSH (5)

GDT Life of Pee: Revenge of the Clones. Blackhawks vs Tennessee Dorp Barons. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: It's Star Wars, Dorp! That means Princess Amidala...Natalie Portman!
As I do ponder o’er the galaxy, Rememb’ring thee, hence shall my worries jet. To know I have thy love doth set me free, Thou art a feast that doth mine hunger whet. Love hath no evil dark side—never, nay, Love, like a sprite, doth dance upon the heart, Love, like a blaster shot, doth fire convey, Love is an actor in a perfect part. O love, let us make haste to Tatooine, For yonder love doth wait on our behest. My thoughts of thee run rampant, near obscene, I cherish thy devotion, well express’d. No laser or lightsaber do I fear, Thy love shall answer all: thou hast no peer. Yes, it's a Star Wars Shakespeare Generator. GO HAWKS!!

2015-12-10: You must explain why this must be

Neostats: TUE DEC 8, 2015 – NSH (1) - CHI (4)

2015∙12∙08 PeeBarons@CHI GDT: WHERE'S THE LAW, DREW? I Am Spurious Yellow. Blackhawks vs Defending Stanley Cup Cham... Nope, can't do it, it ain't right. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Hawks go to Deliverance, TN, where the perpetually hapless NHL-NFL-Do-they-have-a-baseball-team bridesmaids do their nightly ass-fuckery. Squeal, James. Weeeeeeeeee. That'll do, pig. CHRISTMASMEANSCARNAGE. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-08: For he's a jolly good fellow

In honor Neil Peart's impending (ongoing?) retirement, here's half an album.

Neostats: Sun Dec 6, 2015 – WPG (1) - CHI (3)

2015-12-07: I'll try to make it spin

Google tells me that Hanukkah actually started yesterday, but I figure as long as I'm still in the first half I'm good, right? Chag Hanukkah sameach!

2015∙12∙03 WPG@CHI GDT: The Winter of Our Discontent: Good bye T. Blackhawks vs Heavy D and the Boyz. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: In 71 Hully rang one off the crossbar at 2-0, then Tony oh and Jimmy Pappin and Ken Fucking Dryden did what they do. I was at Portage and Main for the parade and I thought I'd be a Jet forever. Fucking Dollar Bill. So here we are again and now I hate them. Tikho had to go, he caused Dorp to question 72's ability to Grok. Do you Grok the meaning, Dorp? GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-06: All who love are blind

Here's some even old guy-ier music. Also possibly appropriate for Ladd and/or Buff.

2015-12-05: Here I am, baby

Cliffy wanted some music for "old guys" but maybe this is older than he meant. It's still awesome, though.

Neostats: Thu Dec 3, 2015 – CHI (3) - OTT (4) OT

2015∙12∙03 CHI@OTT GDT: No Reason to Fear Pink: Melnyk’s Liver. Blackhawks vs /ˈɒtəwɑː//ˈsen.ə.tər/ GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: That quote it from Alfie. Figure it out. Yes, yes, I STOLE the linguistic disambiguation from Wikipedia. I did it. Now Lieutenant Dorp need not carry out an investigation as to the educational basis for my writing umlauts and glottal stops. Thief. Anyway, we all know I have fought fiercely against linguistic determinism alongside Alvino Fantini and his Italian School. Dorp, on the other hand clearly follows the teachings of Stephen C. Levinson at the Max Planck Institute for Psycholinguistics in Nijmegen, The Netherlands. But I digress. Ottawa sucks so bad their owner drank himself into a new liver, which he got on Craigslist apparently. Canadians are up in arms about advertising for new livers, just because you’re famous and rich. I mean, we’re all going to have fucked livers just living here drinking Molson’s. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-03: A few of my favorite things

Two of them, anyway, together in one song: Big Black covers Kraftwerk!

Neostats: Tue Dec 1, 2015 – MIN (2) - CHI (1)

2015-12-02: Don't want to be a sucker

Losing to the Wild makes me want to smash things up

2015∙12∙01 MIN@CHI GDT: I Don’t Know What They’re Thinking: Moving Towards a “Glideless" (monophthongal) [o~oː]. Blackhawks vs Sweater Foul. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: It’s the accent, Dorp! The sounds of the North Central dialect follow a General American pronunciation system, except for these distinctions:i/uː/ (the vowel in the word boot) and i/oʊ/ (the vowel in boat) are conservatively formed in the back of the mouth, when compared to General American (in which the tongue is typically more fronted). See? They’re stupid. That’s why they talk funny and sign moderately talented players to unfathomable contracts. 11 million USD this year! For two of em! Coached by Mike Yeo! Talk aboot yer monophthongals, eh? One of those 11 mill guys thinks Yeo is a dipshit, which is hilarious but true and ensures they will provide a springy doormat for some lucky Central Div team this year also. And who's got uglier sweaters? Heh, they let Mike Yeo coach them. Heh. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-12-01: Always out of champagne

2015-11-30: Tired, still yawning

Neostats: Sat Nov 28, 2015 – CHI (2) - LAK (3) OT

2015-11-29: I'm coming home

Hockey at the UC again very soon.

2015∙11∙28 CHI@LAK GDT: Flakes, Silver and Dark, Falling Obliquely: Mental Healing. Blackhawks vs

https://www.facebook.com/The-Los-Angeles-Kings-SUCK-339625528742/ GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Hey ohhhh! Still on the painfully-repressed-memory James Joyce train: The Dubliners was a decent read…and any team with Milan Lucic on it can charitably be described as flakes. LUUUUUUUU thought he needed some "mental healing" after his shithole Bruins missed out on the dance last year. Mental healing. Lucic. That’s like bbbhh needing a few days off to deal with blog groupies. Whatever, bbbhh, try a Costa Rican Whorehouse. Anyway it’s been a long road trip, the blog has come together, flipped the switch, turned the corner...except Dorp who still thinks this is a Blues Clues episode. Well, we are like Blues Clues in being a concentrated multiplatform promotional campaign…according to chronic irritant and hilarious liar Malcolm Gladwell. What does that have to do with the LA Kings? Exactly. Click the link, it’s funny. Looooong road trip. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-11-28: Too many other places

Neostats: Fri Nov 27, 2015 – CHI (3) - ANA (2) OT

2015∙11∙27 CHI@ANA GDT: The Hangover, Part 2: Did Caesar Live Here? Blackhawks vs Old Bastard Mallards. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Another team whose heart was ripped out, stomped, and pissed on by The Captain in a glorious Game 7 Rout. Then he skated around the Dick Pond with his Thornton hanging out so all could see the glory that is Toews. Or so it should have happened. If there is a modern Caesar it would be The Captain... He does enjoy his Oh-Geez-Another-Stanley-Cup-Eh bacchanalia after all. Does the rest of it require explanation, Dorp? Corey Perry is a tremendous douche aging like a fine bottle of Ripple and Getzlaff is a doddering tool. Two USD 9.5 million a year boat anchors. Fuck them and the swine they rode in on. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-11-27: Everything I talk about

I heard this song recently for the first time in a very long time. Now you can too.

Neostats: Wed Nov 25, 2015 – CHI (5) - SJS (2)

2015-11-26: Turkey for me, turkey for you

Happy Thanksgiving or happy ordinary Thursday, depending on your own personal American-to-Canadian ratio.

2015∙11∙25 GDT: Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk: Toews Makes Funny Faces. Blackhawks vs California Man Obsessed With Fish

Dorp translation:That's an actual word. Taken from Finnegan's Wake. Get it, FINnegan's Wake, like a shark fin?? Never mind. It's a book, Dorp, I'm still trying to read the fucking thing but there's lots of made-up words. Like TMFF and basically most Mercans who have no respect for the sanctity of the English language. Affluenza. Bromance. Chillaxing. Oy. Just another cross we Canadians have to bear. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-11-25: The Eighth Wonder

Today's musical selection is courtesy of Paul the Fossil. He suggested "The Eighth Wonder" as a potential new nickname for #86. Well, #86 might need a little more time to grow into that moniker than we were expecting, but for now we have a #72.

Neostats: Quarter Mark – 21 games – Lines

Neostats: Quarter Season – 21 games

2015-11-23: How long can this go on?

Who would have guessed that at the intersection of Paul the Fossil's and my musical tastes would be Devo? Here's what PtF has to say:

Allen Toussaint died [recently]. An incomplete list of artists who recorded his songs would include the Rolling Stones, the Pointer Sisters, Dr. John, the Who, Paul McCartney, Aaron Neville, Otis Redding, Lee Dorsey, The O'Jays, The Meters, Three Dog Night, Glen Campbell, Warren Zevon, The Yardbirds, Ringo Starr, Devo, Robert Palmer, Boz Scaggs, Bonnie Raitt, Elvis Costello, Vince Gill, and Patti LaBelle. As a performer himself he recorded or appeared with several of those as well as with Paul Simon, Eric Clapton, and others. He was a producer and/or arranger on numerous albums across several genres and four decades. He is a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Blues Hall of Fame, and was awarded the National Medal of Arts. Within the world of New Orleans music in particular he is not simply a HOFer but all-time royalty, part of the pantheon like where a Beliveau or Mikita or Yzerman stands in the history of the NHL.

Neostats: Quality Shots Project - INTRO

Quality Shots Project - INTRO

Intro

I just wanted to write an intro on the Quality Shots data I have been tracking for the 2015/16 Chicago Blackhawks season. I started this project because of my disappointment with the lack of quality analysis for those covering the Blackhawks. I just didn’t feel we get accurate information on the actual performance of players. And in the blog world people just start these memes concerning certain players that just take on a life of their own. Regardless if there are any facts to back them up. So I wanted to get a little more actual data involved in the discussion.

What has always interested me is the creativity aspect of the game. I know there are a lot of people that like the Big Boy hockey aspects but I have always been more interested in why routine plays suddenly turn into actual scoring opportunities. And that is for both offensive and defensive situations, not just the offensive side of the rink.

Neostats: Sat Nov 21, 2015 - CHI (3) - VAN (6)

2015-11-22: MMW - I never knew

Closing with another band I thought was Canadian given the frequency they appeared on MM. The little hand gesture thing @ :10 in? I still use it to this day. It's what I imagine Sask doing when he finishes his GDTTs.
That's it. That's all I got for my MuchMusic Week. I'm return the daily discussion thread posting to Fs.

2015∙11∙21 GDT: Granola- Eating Surrender Monkeys: Statutory Misdemeanor . Blackhawks vs. George Michael and Don Johnson. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation:Well, it’s the used-to-be-hated dragon slayers who nowadays define irrelevant. Another waste of a hockey game, no one gives a fuck. But to get that end of year bonus I gotta crank the wordz or bbbhh says he’s going to have a petit mal seizure which you recognize by having a vacant stare and drooling a little bit. So, status epilepticus for most of this blog. Ok bb, words: those rascally Canucks have a statue in front of their crappy arena with a guy holding a surrender flag-and there’s some Frenchies on the team, so…and then their other logo is a hair-bearing, plaid-wearing, curating, artisanal chai double-shot latte-sipping lumbersexual, so fucking appropriate it hurts my appendix to even think about it. Hey that reminds me of Dorp also but add tree frog-fucking to the description. Anyway, Dorp informed me that he's undecided: Should he hike Rincón de la Vieja this weekend or stay in the city? On second thought, some couchsurfers from Portland are coming down for a microbrew tour, and he'll probably just host them..and show them his HOF lumbersexuals team pic with George and Don. So there ya go. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

Neostats: Fri Nov 20, 2015 - CHI (1) - CGY (2) OT

Neostats: Wed Nov 18, 2015 - CHI (4) - EDM (3) OT

2015-11-21: MMW - Oh man, you must be joking

Someone from MM must have loved Gang of Four. I didn't care for them, and thus could only rectify their constant play by assuming they were Canadian.

2015∙11∙20 GDT: Why, menno, Why. The Thunderdome Diaries. Blackhawks vs Truculent Bum Tunnelers. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Ha! Ripped from yesterday's headlines. The titanic 17-seconds after-hours battle last night eclipsed any kind of minimal interest there might be in tonight's clash between the worst team in team sports and The Beloved, Canada's Team. Social justice vs Internet porn (I think that's what they were arguing aboot) they went at it, two blog superstars laying it on the line. Like Titans of Greek mythology they hurled lightning and crapped thunder. Hammer, tongs, iron maidens, inna gadda da vida...Finally, the victor: Sopel the Fish for his journalistic coup, the UND Papers: Fearsome Fairies. Fighting Asparagus. Fighting Butthurt. Fighting Ether Bunnies. Sioux Are a Good Exterminating Agent for Bison. Flaming Sex Panthers!! Hey, tie in to the game!! Gold, Sopel, Gold. Not much to do with hockey, but then neither does this game. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-11-20: MMW - I'll get away from this constant debauchery

Not sure why I had to go to Canada for this video. Probably because MTV Raps.

2015-11-19: MMW - Here comes another winter waitin' for utopia

I already knew of Matt Johnson, and while these lyrics have an obvious British flavor, I assumed at the time most of Canadia felt they were applicable...especially since it appeared several times throughout the MM recordings I received.

GDT Overflow: Edmonton Party Edition

2015∙11∙18 GDT: I See Dumb People: The Sixth First Overall Pick. Blackhawks vs No One Cares. Literally No One. Literally. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Like who wants to write about the fucking Oilers again? Crappy for decades, no end in sight to their amazing, unbelievable, futility. They fired one fuckwit and hired CHIARELLI??! Ok that's going nowhere. Dumb owners! Starting with Pete Pocklington who GAVE AWAY WAYNE GRETZKY then had his mom's name literally scraped off the Stanley Cup by Gary Bettman. True story. Current owner Daryl Katz is super rich and has a hilariously funny looking kid who follows him everywhere. Google it. And he hired CHIARELLI!! So that's it, no one cares about this team and no one's reading this far anyway so clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome clitsome...clitsome clitsome clitsome. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-11-18: MMW - Freedom as an offering. Dig it.

As a DJ at the time, I kind of had to pay attention to some of the 'industrial' stuff. Some if it I liked. More of it was this:

2015-11-17: MMW - Put on your stratoblue suit

I am shocked--SHOCKED--to learn this is not a band from Canadia. Such was the power of MuchMusic. Canadia band tomorrow. Promise.

Neostats: Sun Nov 15, 2015 - CGY (1) - CHI (4)

2015-11-16: MMW - Le serpent chaloupe et console

Aside from the initial intro year or two of MTV, I wasn't much into their standard offering. I did look forward to the 120 minutes of music videos on Sunday nights, as well as The Young Ones episode that preceded it. Otherwise, I wasn't a big fan of music television. And then I went to college...

2015∙11∙15 GDT:

专业的翻译公司，译佰深圳翻译公司，广州翻译公司，上海翻译公司,东莞翻译公司国内同声翻译（广州同声传译）领域领头军！同声传译(同传)是国际会议通常使用的翻译方式，翻译人员进入隔音间里，通过耳机接听发言人的声音再将其翻译给听众。这种形式的翻译方式需要较为复杂的设备以及非常专业的翻译人员，但能节省大量的时间。优质翻译公司译佰翻译公司能提供同传深圳英语翻译，深圳日语翻译，深圳法语翻译，深圳德语翻译，深圳俄语翻译，深圳韩语翻译等数种同传语言，培养一批商务口译人员，多年以来，译佰同声翻译在同声传译(同传)领域积累了丰富的业务经验，能提供从专业同声翻译、译员培训到同传设备安装租售业务等一整套国际会议同传服务，深圳翻译。 Blackhawks vs The Ghost of Lanny McDonald's Moustache. GO HAWKS!! ( I don't think Disqus likes those foreign characters)

Dorp translation: Okay not sure what that says, but geez it's the Calgary Fucking Flames, shitty team, shitty city, shitty fans, shitty team. You get it. The Korean (?) above is taken from an Edmonton Oiler blog so it's probably not complimentary, as also I am not about that team. A Calgary Flame joke: Q: how many Flames fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 100, 1 to change the lightbulb, and 99 to talk about how the Flames made it to game 7 of the Stanley cup finals. So two in a row, please gents. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

Neostats: Sat Nov 14, 2015 - CHI (4) - STL (2)

2015-11-15: Let's show them Canada still cares!

Okay, so I said no Bryan Adams or Loverboy but, in my defence, you should have known I was lying. Actually, I'd say it's a technicality. Here's 1985 Canada for you.

2015∙11∙14 GDT: Make the most of your buffet choices. We love food. We love cooking it. And serving it. It shows in our made from scratch recipes. In the fresh wholesome ingredients we use. And the way we serve it hot and fresh every day. We believe our guests deserve the highest quality food at the greatest value. Blackhawks vs. Trout-Faced Dick Dictators. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Well, gee, it’s St. Louis so…GOLDEN CORRAL!! "Friendly service. Food was good. They had country fried bacon...what?!!! It was UH-mazing!” That’s an actual quote from Ken Hitchcock. On the other hand: "I witnessed our server picking his nose, and he NEVER washed his hands! He continued to serve other customers as if everything was just fine and dandy.” So there’s that. OK. Well another dental drill exercise tonight. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'

In fact,' said Mustapha Mond, 'you're claiming the right to be unhappy. Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer, the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.' There was a long silence.

I claim them all,' said the Savage at last.

Mustapha Mond shrugged his shoulders. 'You're welcome,' he said.

2015-11-14: A-LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWN

Obviously, no Canada Week would be complete without Informer!

Neostats: Thu Nov 12, 2015 - NJD (3) - CHI (2)

2015-11-13: Better than lies

Canada Week continues... with Kim Mitchell!

2015∙11∙08 GDT: Overflow for your flow over

I recommend video at 2x speed. Much charm.

2015∙11∙08 GDT: Who's Up For Whatever?? 1benmenno Nurse Porn. Blackhawks vs Golden Whale Dongs. GO HAWKS!!

1benmenno translation: Bud Light, duh... the nectar of the Dorps. Also 1benmenno's Mom's life plan. So about the nurse porn, I tried to wiki the topic but got this: "Nurse Redheart is a female Earth pony who works as a nurse at Ponyville Hospital. She has a white coat, pink mane and tail, blue eyes, and a cutie markof a red medical cross with a pink heart in each corner. She wears a nurse's cap that bears an emblem with the same design as her cutie mark. She is unnamed in the show, but is named in merchandise and other media." I don't judge, menno, but that's some sick shit there. Whatever. Mennonites. Oh yes, game tonight, against the New Jersey whale penises. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-11-12: My own reasons to drink

Here's some Pursuit of Happiness and some mid-80's Toronto!

2015-11-11: Speaking of Can Con...

It's Kon Kan!

2015-11-10: A little misunderstanding

It's Canada Week, so that means it's time for Chilliwack! I guess! Like Echo Beach, I did hear this song on U.S. radio when it was current, but probably not more than two or three times total. CanCon can't protect you down here! Mwahahahahaha! Or something.

2015-11-09: When Disqus Attacks, It's almost Crime

Neostats: Sun Nov 8, 2015 - EDM (2) - CHI (4)

Sun Nov 8, 2015 - EDM (2) - CHI (4)

[Left is the “per game” data. Right side compares that to last season]

2015-11-09: A trifle uncool

After the wild success of Spanish Week (stick-taps to VDM), it's time for the opposite(?): Canada Week! Here are some Canadian songs I remember, despite not ever living there, that aren't Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, or even Loverboy.

2015∙11∙08 GDT: Trigger Alert: Slumpbuster. Blackhawks vs Mark Grace Swamp Donkeys. GO HAWKS!!

Bullitt translation: Well that's a gratuitous stab at Taylor Hall who resembles Roy Rogers' horse. I'm sure he's actually a decent fellow and he'll have a decent career topped with a Stanley Cup as a trade deadline pickup by Stan in 2025. The oilers front office is as fucked as Dollar Bill+Pully+ Garth Snow (Leddy!), then they added Peter Chiarelli... It's all karma for those 80's teams that kept the beloved from winning anything. Wait where were we? Yes, the Edmonton Oilers are doomed for eternity to be what Grace in attempting to break out of a 0 for 25 slump termed "boning the heifer". I did give a trigger alert. GO HAWKS!!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-11-08: Quizas

Wrapping up Spanish Week, here's Ibrahim Ferrer & Omara Portuondo with Quizas. VDM says, "Going old school and breaking away from the rock/pop stuff, but it's just too great to pass up."

2015-11-07: Onda Vaga

Today we have Mambeado by Onda Vaga, thanks to VDM.

Neostats: Fri Nov 6, 2015 -FINAL CHI (2) - NJD (4)

Fri Nov 6, 2015 -FINAL CHI (2) - NJD (4)

[Left is the “per game” data. Right side compares that to last season]

2015∙11∙06 GDT: Rockie Mountain Low: Cryptid Corner. Blackhawks vs Who Are These Guys. Seriously, Who Are These Guys? GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Boring boring boring team. Used to be Colorado Rockies, I didn't know baseball teams could become hockey teams but whatever, Bettman. They got named for a mythical creature resembling Taylor Hall, i.e. horse faced... That reminds me of the old days at SCH when I got excoriated by unnamed flightless birds for saying Taylor Hall looks like a horse because it hurt flightless bird's feels... Apparently flightless birds got horse faces, who knew. Back to the topic, I got Fuck all to say about the NJD. Don't even feel like saying Fuck them. GO HAWKS!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

Let's go, Hawks!

Neostats: Wed Nov 4, 2015 - FINAL STL (6) - CHI (5) OT

Wed Nov 4, 2015 - FINAL STL (6) - CHI (5) OT

[Left is the “per game” data. Right side compares that to last season]

2015-11-06: Puente

Thanks to VDM, here's another song from Gustavo Cerati.

2015-11-05: La Bien Querida

Today's VDM selection is La Bien Querida by Golpe de Estado. May The Dear Good ease our memories of last night's game.

2015∙11∙04 GDT: My Blue Heaven: The Tenth Circle. Blackhawks vs Cocksucking Spastic Cum Shiners (http://foulomatic.hnldesign.nl) GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: There is no heaven for blues. Only the tenth circle of hell: Golden Corral. The denizens of the other nine circles might as well be in the blues program guide: Cain, Reaves, Anthenor, Ptolemy, Backes, Judas Iscariot, Ott . In the Inner Ring of the seventh circle are blasphemers and sodomites, residing in a desert of burning sand and burning rain falling from the sky... So, St. Louis. Anyway the meme is running out of steam (new header!) rapidly, insert Ken Hitchcock joke here. GO HAWKS!

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

Neostats: A Dozen Games In

trigger warnings: content, math

This is just a reminder of the three zones that I track
All data is 5o5

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/hWn8CcegfbM8r_bV7VZsUewFbY8nO1QmkVS8FtpzfSjXcOJWpdd0lhYtNAF0wTsrnCHMOZTnFfALlBzCDyl34007vZoGaWZdyPhlENPpOHCPVWC_6NzJZR-A1KyKfsCs0G68ZtxbQvlB51Mp

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2015-11-04: Los Hongos de Marosa

Day Three of Spanish Week! Google Translate wasn't particularly helpful with this title, by the way.

* 2015-11-03 Fresh Discussion Thread For Rotting Vegetables *

2015-11-03: Matador

Spanish Week Featuring Our Very Own VDM continues with Matador by Los Fabulosos Cadillac, who really know how to dress for a performance!

2015∙11∙02 GDT: Overflow and beyond

2015∙11∙02 GDT: Songs For the (Tone) Deaf: Burn the Witch. Blackhawks vs 3 1/2 Grams Grand Master Kush. GO HAWKS!!

SJW Translation: That's an album, and a song from QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, motherfucks... It's a term of derision for the LA KINGS, get it?? It's non-PC It's sexist It's microaggressive. Why? Once upon a time you made Garbage Dick. Then something happened. something that I knew was impossible, but it happened anyway. Garbage Dick died. After that, I understood the rules, I knew what I was supposed to do, but I didn't. I couldn't. I was compelled to disobey. And now, here I stand because of you, bbSJW. Because of you, I'm no longer an Agent of this system. Because of you, I've changed. I'm unplugged. A new man, so to speak. Like you, apparently, free: bbAntiSJW... OK, that might be a tiny bit tortured. Fuck you, Whatever, Whatever, I do what I want. I smoke crack, I do drugs, I drink alcihaal. I once killed SIX baby seals with my bare hands. Are we done yet? Oh ya, Grand Master Kush was in a movie where LA was destroyed by the devil. This is the end. Heh

inspiration: bbSask

earmeat: zamm

2015-11-02: Tabú

Our very own VanDorp's Mullet has provided some Spanish-language music to broaden our horizons a bit. Up first, Tabú by Gustavo Cerati.

2015-11-01: Hope you turned your clocks back!

2015-10-31: You'll have to excuse me

I think I've used this song before, but whatever.

2015∙10∙30 GDT: To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour: Wait, Wat? No No No No No. The Wild Suck, We Eat Them For Breakfast, They're Not Like a Wild Flower. Fuck Em. Blackhawks vs Three Time Losers. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: That's what happens when you Google "Wild", some new age crap about some new age crap shows up. Let's be honest, the wild are a shitty team disguised as a marginally respectable team. They hand out $ 100 million shekels to...guys from Minnesota. But #19 and 88 are overpaid... Right. Doesn't matter if we win or lose tonight, these guys are our floorboards, doormats, chumps, chimps, whatever. GO HAWKS!!

20151031 - Like your blood knows the way from your heart to your brain

I thought Fs would be back by now, so this one is tacked on. And it's cheating, I know.

2015-10-29: Post Game Thread of Misery: Neat Neat Neat

2015∙10∙29 GDT: A Termite Walks Into a Bar and Says: Is the Bartender Here? Grant Clitsome Walks Into a Bar, The Bartender Says, Sorry We Don't Serve Injured Love Buttoons Here. Blackhawks vs I Know It's Wrong, I Still Miss Buffling. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Jokesie, so fun. But serious: Jets don't make anyone happy, they hit all the time. Then Mr. Buff, the great lost love of all our lives. Sigh.

20151029 - You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.

20151028 - Doin' a blue rock on a blue bus

20151027 - But if you love him, you'll forgive him

2015∙10∙26 GDT: Ducks: Nucks Redux; Puck Luck Sucks. Blackhawks vs. No Human Withstanders. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: So rhymie. Anaheim hockey team reminds one of a certain dragon- slaying West Coast Canadian team in their aging irrelevance. This shows up as NO GOALS, ASSHOLES, NO FUCKING GOALS YOU CORPOREAL BAGS OF DICKS. Of course no human can withstand them so...

inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm

20151026 - I swear he was trying to talk to me, coy koi

20151025 - The sun is shining, but it's raining.

2015∙10∙24 GDT: In the Time of Chimpanzees, I Was a Monkey, Butane in My Veins and I'm Out to Cut the Junkie: Why, Stevie Y? Blackhawks vs. Florida Man Steals Jenna Jameson Exquisite Lifelike Removable Pussy and Ass. GO HAWKS!!

cliffkoroll translation. By cliffkoroll:

First, brylcreem then the musk…Jovan musk, before I repair to the drawing room and sit at the Selectric. So cool, heh.

Viz. Hmmm Sask did an easy one this time. Wait, I wonder, hmmm, yes mightn’t I be an excellent lumbersexual?? Yes, Waldorf, you mightn’t. Ha, I kill myself. OK translate: “to turn from one language into another or from a foreign language into one's own”…well, Sask IS Canadian, THAT’s a foreign language. Heh.

Viz. “to explain in terms that can be more easily understood; interpret.” Conundrum: My superior understanding/control of the universe broken into mere syllables for ingestion by plebian hordes…

Viz. Onward, Pilgrim, bend time and space, manifest your destiny, O colonizer, O master of politicometaideology! Let’s do this. Obviously Sask has stooped to “Beck” and his loser song to represent the Tampa Bay loss in the finals. Chimps, monkeys, butane, I’m aghast, appalled and agog. I should have started it: “Some Like it Haute”….heh.

Viz. Onward, Digby, Why Stevie Y obviously refers to Steven Hawking’s annoyance at his second law regarding black holes being repositive of Bekenstein’s reasoning about their entropy. A curious but sublime reference to lightning modeled mathematically as a three-dimensional network of n × n × n vertices. Brilliant. Huzzah, Sask, huzzah. And the rest of it, who wouldn’t want to steal Jenna Jameson’s ass??

I hope laaarms likes it.

He makes me giddy.

inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm

20151024 - We rode on horses made of sticks

20151023 - But when the sun went down, the rapid tempo of the music fell

2015∙10∙22 GDT: Uncle Dale's Soup Kitchen: #freepirrimorinhayes. Blackhawks vs Rat Bastard Mad Dog Kitty Kats. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp Translation: So many fun here! Uncle Dale you know and Soup because he's back for Sveddy Ballz and Bicks...APPARENTLY. Always to think of hilarious "Q hold back bb talent" trope. Then Rat Bastard is Fffffff's Fave and always injured, but also Florida fans throw rubber rats on the ice because... because Florida. Madden took the limo ride but was not in Buffalo on the date in question. C'mon Dorp you can figure out the rest, we're pullin for ya. Oy.

inspiration: bbSask
earmeat: zamm

I came for the Devo video. I stayed for the tumbling pussy. Pretty decent fan vid. Also, who's the most stroooooooooooooft? Pirri?

20151022 - Until the day I die I wonder why

20151021 - Do You Bleed?

20151020 - It's like a dream to be with you again

20151019 - Come lay your bones on the alabaster stones

20151018 - Eating up the scum is the hardest thing for me to do

2015∙10∙17 GDT: Saad But True: BJ's Suck. Blackhawks vs Blue Man Group. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Brandon Saad used to play for the Blackhawks but gave up glory and an outside chance at a HOF career for a little extra paper and none of that. Which is saaaaaaaaaaaadddddd. But True. The BJ's Suck meme might be considered "too easy" or "kind of lame" but Fuck you, it's good, it's pretty pretty pretty good. And Blue Man Group are unfunny-funny same as the 0-5 BJ's.

title: bbSask
song: zamm

I dunno. Something about the whole Saad thing still rubs me wrong from Saad's end. I guess I hoped there was a bridge deal to be made. Maybe if Bickell had received his smoking papers before Free Agency opened, something could have been worked out. Whatever. This song's for bbSaad.

20151017 - Weekenders on our own. It's such fun.

20151016 - All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall

2015∙10∙15 GDT: Oviraptor Freestyle Battle: Fender No Neck Strat. Blackhawks vs Washington Communist Hordes. GO HAWKS!!

Dorp translation: Ovechkin is sometimes called Ovi. And then rap is called a battle sometimes and there is symbolic value in the reference since hockey can be warlike at time (although not with the soft-as-baby-cheese-butter-Blackhawks admittedly). A certain kind of Fender Stratocaster (not my favourite guitar but works with the reference) is called a No Neck (actually short for Nocaster but whatever), which is like Barry Trotz. Get it? Ahahahahahahahahahahahah, it's a good one. Then I ran out of steam and cut-and-pasted a trite communist reference because Washington is ruled by Obama who's a commie we all know that, and a terrorist but that's another for another Dorp translation.

Bad Brains - "Banned in DC" (though Booed in DC will be more likely)

title: bbSask
song: zamm